Things I Hate
Here’s a list of things I hate. Check back often for updates.
Things I hate: hippies, retarded people, squirrels, PETA, Cold Play, romance movies, regular coke, valley girls, people that live in trailers, the white stripes, fast food, people that don’t courtesy-flush in public bathrooms, raw oysters, cold showers, woodpeckers, people that smell bad, the ghetto, phish, heroin, credit cards, working just to live for the weekends, Michael Moore, canned cranberry sauce, the inability to spell check, They’re over there, They’ve forgotten their bags, There is no soap in the bathroom. Capeesh? Scott Stapp, people that perpetuate stereotypes, Rosie O’Donnell, Old Spice deodorant, Donnie Osmond, WAC Football, those that lack a sense of humor, sour milk, whole milk, milk, “enlightened” college students, the WMBA, Baseball, potheads, Tango, impulsive people, NBC’s obsession with blasting commercials, snakes, cheesy local commercials like “The Suzukiman”, the soccer moms that ignore the 4 mile stretch of 280 that has half a dozen 45mph speed limit signs, choose to drive 70mph anyway and then get beligerent at me for going 50mph. Do us all a favor…fall off the cliff side of Double Oak Mountain already, eminent domain, hearing about the bear, people that think there is a constitutional right to privacy, tofu, people obsessed with government conspiracies, Wilford Brimley, Jacks (the restaurant and game), McAfee security system - no, you’re wrong, my computer IS fully protected, pedophiles, people who get in relationships and become too good for their friends, John Madden, people who always say “I could care less”, bull! You do and it shows so stop being a liar, telemarketers, picky eaters, car salesmen, women in Wal-Mart that leave their shopping carts in the middle of the isle and walk off to try on clothes for the next 45 minutes. You have zero common sense, depth perception or courtesy and NO I will NOT stop ramming my shopping cart into yours, Elmo, people that hate mayonnaise and David Wilcox (who rocks), paypal, media polls, MTV, advocates, anyone who is a dominatrix, Full House, bees, eels, crack, and Charter.
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Maybe instead of retarded people, you could put “moronic idiots that have no valid excuse for being THAT stupid”.
Just a thought. Feel better, dude!
***Read this as John Madden***
“Now here’s a guy that, that, uh, really hates, uh, uh, lot of stuff. If he, uh, hates all, all this stuff, he really doesn’t like it.”
I 2nd charter. The bane of my existence.